10 Things Your Date Doesn’t Want to Hear About Your Mother 09/04/11

When you’re out on a date with a girl, the last thing she expects (or wants) to be the main topic of conversation is your mother. It doesn’t matter whether your attitude is negative or positive towards your mother. For whatever reason, girls are not keen on hearing either how horrible or how wonderful your mother is.

They don’t want you putting her down, after all, she is your mother. But they also don’t want to hear hymns of praise about Mama either. Best choice? Leave mother out of the conversation altogether, unless you’re asked.

1. What her health issues are. Just because your mother gives you daily updates on her heartburn, gout and hangnails, doesn’t mean that you need to pass those details on to your date during dinner. Baseball statistics will not always be welcomed either but would probably be preferred, in this case.
2. How much she snores at night. Number one, this is a dead give-away that you still live at home. Otherwise, why would you care? It also gives an indication of how low the level of conversation is going to be for the night.
3. How lonely she gets when you miss your daily visit. ‘Momma’s Boy.’ That’s what she’s thinking while you express your concern and devotion to the woman who gave you birth.
4. That she’ll be waiting up for you. Another big clue that you still sleep in your little boy bedroom and that those apron strings are still very strongly attached. She’ll be sure not to keep you out late. She wouldn’t want your mommy to get worried.
5. That you’re your mother’s best friend. Poor Mom has no one else she can confide in, so she shares everything with you. You keep encouraging her to get out and make friends, but she seems to be content with having you there for her.
6. That she does your laundry. OK, maybe she does, but don’t tell your date that. Why would you even bring it up? If you absolutely must mention laundry, simply say something about having to pick up your suits at the cleaners, or something.
7. That she doesn’t approve of your choice in women. This is a very bad move on your part. She is sure to ask why not. After that, she will want to know if your mother will approve of her. The answers, to both of which, could get you in trouble.
8. That you share each other’s clothes. If you tell her this, true or not, you will probably find her excusing herself to the bathroom and not returning. Follow the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy on this subject.
9. That she’s the best cook in the world. That can be very intimidating for a woman, even if she has no intention of ever cooking for you. It automatically puts up a high culinary standard to meet. It also gives the impression that kitchen skills are going to be one your top criteria for choosing a wife. An expectation that is not always appreciated.
10. That you hope to marry someone just like her. Again, a very intimidating statement. It projects the thought that you are shopping for someone to fill Momma’s shoes. Most women aren’t interested in filling the motherly role to their husband, especially if they’ll have to compete with the super woman herself, in the meantime.

As said earlier, if you really want to play it safe, don’t bring up the subject of your mother, at least not in the initial few dates. Women are often intimidated by the mention of another woman, even if she’s your mother.

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