10 Tips for Dating a Coworker 10/04/11

Dating one of your coworkers can be a touchy thing. There is lots of potential for misunderstandings and false accusations from other coworkers. There are a number of other concerns that you should be aware of personally as well.

1. No PDA at work. Physical displays of affection: hand holding, hugs, kisses and any other physical contact of an affectionate or intimate nature, should be reserved for when you are off work and no longer on your employer’s property. It can be misunderstood by those not aware of your relationship, and, at the very least, be distracting to others.
2. Don’t talk shop. When you aren’t at work, don’t talk about work. Make it a rule from the start of the relationship. The two areas of your relationship should not mix.
3. Beware of positional conflicts. Dating between supervisors and their staff can make it very difficult to maintain a position of neutrality with other members of the staff. Even if you feel that you are doing so, your actions can easily be perceived as favoritism by other staff, or lack of loyalty by your dating partner.
4. Inform your supervisors. Don’t let your supervisors find out through the company rumor mill. Be upfront with them and inform them of the dating relationship as soon as it appears to be moving into an ongoing relationship. They are bound to give you some advice on the matter.
5. Avoid compromising communications. Don’t use company email, instant messaging or voice mail to communicate to one another. Many companies have policies regarding the personal use of company communication technology. In addition, those communications may become available to others than the two individuals involved.
6. Keep your personal life private. That is to say, don’t talk about your dating relationship with your other coworkers. Doing so could compromise the integrity of the other person.
7. No favoritism. Both individuals should be especially conscious of showing favoritism to each other over coworkers in anyway. Even the providing of assistance on projects or running of errands for one another could easily cause offense to others who aren’t receiving the same treatment.
8. Assume it will end. Go into the relationship with the assumption that it will end at some point. Maintaining this perspective will prevent many of the issues that could arise when that time does arrive. Always consider what it will be like to work with each other after a breakup.
9. Don’t let it affect your work. No relationship is worth losing your job over. Be careful not to allow the other person’s presence become a distraction for you.
10. Avoid if possible. All around it can be a potentially dangerous situation. Dating relationships with coworkers can be distracting at work; they can lead to tense situations after a break up; and they can lead to grumbling or accusations among your other coworkers. It is not a relationship you will want to enter without giving it some thoughtful consideration first.

You spend a lot of time with your coworkers. It can be easy to develop friendships that lead to a deeper attraction. Be considerate of the risks involved.

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